You know you're really high when:

• It takes a hour to cook minute rice.
• You sell your car for gas money.
• You think a quarterback is a refund.
• Your friend takes a hit and says "WOW man, that stoned got me really hit!"
• You are the only tobacco smoker in the room and
  you look at the cigarette in the ashtray and ask, "Is that my cigarette?"
• You're eating something on your way home thinking
  about what you're gonna eat when you get home!!
• When you go to hit a steamroller and forget to cover the other end!!